COMM-120-3812 Interpersonal Communication

This assignment has an outside activity involving another person. There are five documents associated with this activity you must complete to gather the data for this assessment. You can find them in Module 10.

STEP 1.

Complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument: Conflict Styles: Me about Me.

“Me about Me”

THOMAS-KILMANN CONFLICT STYLES INSTRUMENT

INSTRUCTIONS

Consider the situations in which you find your wishes differing from those of another person. How do you usually respond to such situations? Below are several pairs of statements describing possible behavioral responses. For each pair, please circle the “A” or “B” statement which is most characteristic of your own behavior. In many cases, neither the “A” nor “B” statements may be typical of your behavior; but please select the response which you would be more likely to use.

 

1. A. There are times when I let the other person take responsibility for solving the problem.
B. Rather than negotiate the things on which we disagree, I try to stress those things upon which we both agree.
2. A. I try to find a compromise solution.
B. I attempt to deal with all of the other person’s and my concerns.
3. A. I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.
B. I might try to soothe the other person’s feelings and preserve our relationship.
4. A. I try to find a compromise solution.
B. I sometimes sacrifice my own wishes for the other person’s wishes.
5. A. I consistently seek the other person’s help in working out a solution.
B. I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.
6. A. I try to avoid creating unpleasantness for myself.
B. I try to win my position.
7. A. I try to postpone the issue until I have had some time to think it over.
B. I give up some points in exchange for others.
8. A. I am usually firm in pursing my goals.
B. I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
9. A. I think that differences are not always worth worrying about.
B. I make some effort to get my way.
10. A. I am firm in pursuing my goals.
B. I try to find a compromise solution.
11. A. I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
B. I might try to soothe the other person’s feelings and preserve our relationship.
12. A. I sometimes avoid taking positions which would create controversy.
B. I will let the other person have some of her/his positions if she/he lets me have some of mine.
13. A. I propose a middle ground.
B. I press to get my points made.
14. A. I tell the other person my ideas and ask him/her for his/hers.
B. I try to show the other person the logic and benefits of my position.
15. A. I might try to soothe the other person’s feelings and preserve our relationship.
B. I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.
16. A. I try not to hurt the other person’s feelings.
B. I try to convince the other person of the merits of my position.
17. A. I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.
B. I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.
18. A. If it makes the other person happy, I might let him/her maintain his/her views.
B. I will let the other person have some of his/her positions if he/she lets me have some of mine.
19. A. I attempt to get ail concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
B. I try to postpone the issue until I have had some time to think it over.
20. A. I attempt to work through our differences immediately.
B. I try to find a fair combination of gains and losses for both of us.
21. A. In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person’s wishes.
B. I always lean toward a direct discussion of the problem.
22. A. I try to find a position that is intermediate between the other person’s and mine.
B. I assert my wishes.
23. A. I am very often concerned with satisfying all our wishes.
B. There are times when I let the other person take responsibility for solving the problem.
24. A. If the other’s position seemed very important to him/her, I would try to meet his/her wishes.
B. I try to get the other person to settle for a compromise.
25. A. I try to show the other person the logic and benefits of my position.
B. In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person’s wishes.
26. A. I propose a middle ground.
B. I am nearly always concerned with satisfying all our wishes.
27. A. I sometimes avoid taking positions that would create controversy.
B. If it makes the other person happy, I might let him/her maintain his/her views.
28. A. I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.
B. I usually seek the other person’s help in working out a solution.
29. A. I propose a middle ground.
B. I think that differences are not always worth worrying about.
30. A. I try not to hurt the other person’s feelings.
B. I always share the problem with the other person so that we can work it out.

STEP 2.

Ask someone who knows you well (friend, relative, romantic partner, roommate, etc.) to complete the other Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, Conflict Styles: Partner about Me. Choose someone with whom you are willing to discuss your communicative behavior.

“Partner about Me”

THOMAS-KILMANN CONFLICT STYLES INSTRUMENT

INSTRUCTIONS

Consider the situations in which you find your wishes differing from those of ______. How does ______ usually respond to such situations? Below are several pairs of statements describing possible behavioral responses. For each pair, please circle the “A” or “B” statement which is most characteristic of ______’s behavior. In many cases, neither the “A” nor “B” statements may be typical of ______’s behavior; but please select the response which ______ would be more likely to use.

1. A. There are times when ___ lets me take responsibility for solving the problem.
B. Rather than negotiate the things on which we disagree, ___ tries to stress those things upon which we both agree.
2. A. ___ tries to find a compromise solution.
B. ___ attempts to deal with all of his/her and my concerns.
3. A. ___ is usually firm in pursuing her/his goals.
B. ___ might try to soothe my feelings and preserve our relationship.
4. A. ___ tries to find a compromise solution.
B. ___ sometimes sacrifices his/her own wishes for my wishes.
5. A. ___ consistently seeks my help in working out a solution.
B. ___ tries to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.
6. A. ___ tries to avoid creating unpleasantness for him/herself.
B. ___ tries to win her/his position.
7. A. ___ tries to postpone the issue until he/she has had some time to think it over.
B. ___ gives up some points in exchange for others.
8. A. ___ is usually firm in pursing her/his goals.
B. ___ attempts to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
9. A. ___ thinks that differences are not always worth worrying about.
B. ___ makes some effort to get his/her way.
10. A. ___ is firm in pursuing her/his goals.
B. ___ tries to find a compromise solution.
11. A. ___ attempts to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
B. ___ might try to soothe my feelings and preserve our relationship.
12. A. ___ sometimes avoids taking positions which would create controversy.
B. ___ will let me have some of my positions if I let him/her have some of his/hers.
13. A. ___ proposes a middle ground.
B. ___ presses to get her/his points made.
14. A. ___ tells me his/her ideas and asks me for mine.
B. ___ tries to show me the logic and benefits of her/his position.
15. A. ___ might try to soothe my feelings and preserve our relationship.
B. ___ tries to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.
16. A. ___ tries not to hurt my feelings.
B. ___ tries to convince me of the merits of her/his position.
17. A. ___ is usually firm in pursuing his/her goals.
B. ___ tries to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.
18. A. If it makes me happy, ___ might let me maintain my views.
B. ___ will let me have some of my positions if I let ___ have some hers/his.
19. A. ___ attempts to get ail concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
B. ___ tries to postpone the issue until he/she has had some time to think it over.
20. A. ___ attempts to work through our differences immediately.
B. ___ tries to find a fair combination of gains and losses for both of us.
21. A. In approaching negotiations, ___ tries to be considerate of my wishes.
B. ___ always leans toward a direct discussion of the problem.
22. A. ___ tries to find a position that is intermediate between his/hers and mine.
B. ___ asserts her/his wishes.
23. A. ___ is very often concerned with satisfying all our wishes.
B. There are times when ___ lets me take responsibility for solving the problem.
24. A. If my position seemed very important to me, ___ would try to meet my wishes.
B. ___ tries to get me to settle for a compromise.
25. A. ___ tries to show me the logic and benefits of her/his position.
B. In approaching negotiations, ___ tries to be considerate of my wishes.
26. A. ___ proposes a middle ground.
B. ___ is nearly always concerned with satisfying all our wishes.
27. A. ___ sometimes avoids taking positions that would create controversy.
B. If it makes me happy, ___ might let me maintain my views.
28. A. ___ is usually firm in pursuing his/her goals.
B. ___ usually seeks my help in working out a solution.
29. A. ___ proposes a middle ground.
B. ___ thinks that differences are not always worth worrying about.
30. A. ___ tries not to hurt my feelings.
B. ___ always shares the problem with me so that we can work it out.

STEP 3.

Using the document, Scoring Me about Me, calculate your styles from your inventory from Step 1.

Then do the same for your styles as perceived by your partner, Scoring Partner about Me. Be sure to label this page with what type of relationship it is (friend, relative, romantic partner, roommate, etc.).

PLEASE VCIEW ATTACHED DOCUMENT FOR STEPH 3

Option: To create a line-by-line comparison, you can do this step using Dual Conflict Scoring Mode EXCEL.xlsx

STEP 4.

Summarize the results from Step 3 on the Conflict Styles Summary Table. Incorporate this table into your first essay.

Note: The most common mistake in this part is not carefully reading the assignment! If your partner fills the form out on him/herself instead of on you, you will get no credit for this essay!

INSTRUCTIONS

Place the total numbers of circles you had for yourself and your partner. Then calculate the difference (the absolute value) between your scores.

SCORING SHEET

RESULTS

COMPETE

(FORCING)

COLLABORATE

(PROBLEM-SOLVING

COMPROMISE

(SHARING)

AVOID

(WITHDRAWING)

ACCOMMODATE

(SMOOTHING)

ME ABOUT ME

PARTNER ABOUT ME

DIFFERENCE

STEP 5.

WRITE ESSAY #1.

Read the descriptions of the conflict styles (pp. 383-93; Sec. 12-2 in the e-book) to explain the results above. Then write a paragraph or two on how you and your partner perceive your style similarly and differently. Can you explain why? Be sure to address the two major dimensions of styles (Figure 12.1) in your essay and refer to the textbook for ideas.

Conflict Styles

Most people have default styles of handling conflict. (See Figure 12.1.) These habitual styles work sometimes, but they may not be effective in all situations. What styles do you typically use to deal with conflict? Find out by thinking about how two hypothetical characters—Paul and Lucia—manage a problem.

Figure 12.1Conflict Styles

Conflict Styles

Paul and Lucia have been running partners for more than a year. Three times every week, they spend an hour or more together working out. The two runners are equally matched, and they enjoy challenging one another to cover longer distances at a quicker pace. During their time on the road, the friends have grown quite close. Now they often talk about personal matters that they don’t share with anyone else.

Recently, Lucia has started to invite some of her friends along on the runs. Paul likes Lucia’s friends, but they aren’t strong athletes, so the outings become a much less-satisfying workout. Also, Paul fears losing the special one-on-one time that he and Lucia have had. Paul shared his concerns with Lucia, but she dismissed them. “I don’t see what the problem is,” she replied. “We still get plenty of time on the road, and you said you like my friends.” “But it isn’t the same,” replied Paul.

This situation has all the elements of a conflict: expressed struggle (their differences are in the open, and they still disagree), seemingly incompatible goals and interference (Lucia wants to run with her friends; Paul wants to run with just Lucia), apparently scarce resources (they only have so much time for running), and interdependence (they enjoy one another’s company and run better together than separately).

Here are five ways Paul and Lucia could handle the matter. Each represents a particular approach to managing conflict:

  • They could say “Let’s just forget it” and stop running together.
  • Paul could give in, sacrificing his desire for one-on-one conversations and challenging runs. Or Lucia could give in, sacrificing her other friendships to maintain her friendship with Paul.
  • One or the other could issue an ultimatum: “Either we do it my way, or we stop running together.”
  • They could compromise, inviting friends along on some runs but excluding them on other days.
  • Lucia and Paul could brainstorm ways they could run with her friends and still get their workouts and one-on-one time with each other.

These approaches represent the five styles depicted in Figure 12.1, each of which is described in the following paragraphs.

STEP 6.

WRITE ESSAY #2.

How would you like to change your conflict style in this relationship? (If you do not want to change your style in this relationship, choose a different one; select from romantic partners, colleagues from work, family members, people at school, friends, teammates, roommates, etc.) Use the four factors on pages 392-93 (12-2f in the e-book) and consider Table 12.1 for ideas. Be specific in your examples.

Which Style to Use?

Collaborating might seem like the ideal approach to solving problems, but it’s an oversimplification to imagine that there is a single “best” way. Generally speaking, win–win approaches are preferable to win–lose and lose–lose solutions. But we’ve already seen that there are times when avoiding, accommodating, competing, and compromising are appropriate. Table 12.1 lists some of the issues to consider when deciding which style to use when facing a conflict. As you decide which approach to use, consider the following factors.

Table 12.1

FACTORS TO CONSIDER WHEN CHOOSING THE MOST APPROPRIATE CONFLICT STYLE

Avoiding (lose–lose) Accommodating (lose–win) Competing (win–lose) Compromising (partial lose–lose) Collaborating (win–win)
When the issue is of little importance When you discover you are wrong When there is not enough time to seek a win–win outcome To achieve quick, temporary solutions to complex problems When the issue is too important for a compromise
When the costs of confrontation outweigh the benefits When the issue is more important to the other person than it is to you When the issue is not important enough to negotiate at length When opponents are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals When a long-term relationship between you and the other person is important
To cool down and gain perspective When the long-term cost of winning isn’t worth the short-term gain When the other person is not willing to cooperate When the issues are moderately important but not enough for a stalemate To merge insights with someone who has a different perspective on the problem
To build up credits for later conflicts When you are convinced that your position is right and necessary As a backup mode when collaboration doesn’t work To develop a relationship by showing commitment to the concerns of both parties
To let others learn by making their own mistakes To protect yourself against a person who takes advantage of noncompetitive people To come up with creative and unique solutions to problems

Enlarge Table

  1. The relationship. When someone else clearly has more power than you, accommodating may be the best approach. If the boss tells you to fill that order “Now!,” it may be smart to do so without comment. A more assertive response (“I’m still tied up with the job you gave me yesterday”) might be reasonable, but it could also cost you your job.
  2. The situation. Different situations call for different conflict styles. After haggling over the price of a car for hours, it might be best to compromise by simply splitting the difference. In other cases, though, it may be a matter of principle for you to “stick to your guns” and attempt to get what you believe is right.
  3. The other person. Win–win is a fine ideal, but sometimes the other person isn’t willing or able to collaborate. You probably know communicators who are so competitive that they put winning on even minor issues ahead of the well-being of your relationship. In such cases, your efforts to collaborate may have a low chance of success.
  4. Your goals. Sometimes your overriding concern may be to calm down an enraged or upset person. Accommodating an outburst from your crotchety and sick neighbor, for example, is probably better than standing up for yourself and triggering a stroke. In still other cases, your moral principles might compel an aggressive statement even though it might not get you what you originally sought: “I’ve had enough of your racist jokes. I’ve tried to explain why they’re so offensive, but you obviously haven’t listened. I’m leaving!”

NOTE: The most common mistake in this essay is being too brief and/or incomplete.

Place your order
(550 words)

Approximate price: $22

Calculate the price of your order

550 words
We'll send you the first draft for approval by September 11, 2018 at 10:52 AM
Total price:
$26
The price is based on these factors:
Academic level
Number of pages
Urgency
Basic features
  • Free title page and bibliography
  • Unlimited revisions
  • Plagiarism-free guarantee
  • Money-back guarantee
  • 24/7 support
On-demand options
  • Writer’s samples
  • Part-by-part delivery
  • Overnight delivery
  • Copies of used sources
  • Expert Proofreading
Paper format
  • 275 words per page
  • 12 pt Arial/Times New Roman
  • Double line spacing
  • Any citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago/Turabian, Harvard)

Our guarantees

Delivering a high-quality product at a reasonable price is not enough anymore.
That’s why we have developed 5 beneficial guarantees that will make your experience with our service enjoyable, easy, and safe.

Money-back guarantee

You have to be 100% sure of the quality of your product to give a money-back guarantee. This describes us perfectly. Make sure that this guarantee is totally transparent.

Read more

Zero-plagiarism guarantee

Each paper is composed from scratch, according to your instructions. It is then checked by our plagiarism-detection software. There is no gap where plagiarism could squeeze in.

Read more

Free-revision policy

Thanks to our free revisions, there is no way for you to be unsatisfied. We will work on your paper until you are completely happy with the result.

Read more

Privacy policy

Your email is safe, as we store it according to international data protection rules. Your bank details are secure, as we use only reliable payment systems.

Read more

Fair-cooperation guarantee

By sending us your money, you buy the service we provide. Check out our terms and conditions if you prefer business talks to be laid out in official language.

Read more